Stupid jobs, stupid things.

I remember the day I told my mother that I had chosen writing as my profession. Being a creative soul herself, she responded with kind eyes and an understanding smile instead lecturing me on the stupid things one can do with a career like choosing one with an uncertain income. She also told me she would be proud of me no matter what I did, as long as I did it to the best of my ability.
But would she really? I have come across a few dumb jobs that I don’t think Mom would eagerly discuss in the Christmas card newsletter. People doing stupid things is nothing new, but those that get paid for it is a rarity. Some of these professions could test even the most devout mother’s pride in their child’s career. These are quite possibly some of the most stupid jobs on the planet.

Have you ever dreamed of working with animals? How about a pet psychology?

What kind of schooling do you complete to earn this title? Seriously, do they cover this in veterinarian school, or can anyone who feels a deep connection with their pets self-declare themselves an expert in this field? My aunt Rose talks to her nine cats all the time, does she have a career path unknown to her in stupid jobs? Just what kind of problems could an animal need therapy to work through and how would they even express those problems? Even Caesar the Dog Whisperer who has his own job and seems to be able to talk to animals doesn’t even call himself a pet psychologist. Many people have real issues that they don’t have the time or money to get psychological help for so I’m pretty sure their pets’ issues aren’t number one on the frivolous spending list. People stupid enough to do use this service must have more money than they know what to do with. Our pets can just suck it up and deal with their self- image issues like the rest of us.

There are more dumb jobs in the animal field. How about dog food taster?

When I heard about this job, it really took me by surprise that stupid things people are willing to get paid for has gotten to this level. I mean, I knew tests like this must be being done, but I always pictured a bunch of dogs behind a two way mirror doing blind taste tests, eagerly cleaning one plate while leaving the other one untouched… Then I remembered that my dog once ate an entire turkey that was cooling on my kitchen counter. Then in the same evening, ate with just as much gusto one of my baby’s dirty diapers. So to avoid the problem of dog’s undiscerning pallet there are people out there in the world that get up each morning and go to work to eat dog food. It begs the question, do they eat breakfast first.... Can you really acquire a pallet for the different flavors of dog food, enough to be able to render a precise opinion? Well, I will thank you creepy dog food tasters on my dog’s behalf. He would thank you himself, but he had a 3:30 appointment with his therapist to work out some poop eating issues.

We’ll leave you with one final stupid jobs option; Odor judge.

Deodorant and mouthwash companies pay willing people to spend their day smelling armpits and bad breath. Heck some people get to do that on a daily basis, with NO compensation! Like the afore mentioned dog food taster, I guess deep down I knew that these tests were necessary, but I never really thought about an actual person whiffing up these scents, then casually giving their opinion so the rest of us will have our spring wind, green field and the many other fragrances that enhance our products. ‘Well, this subject’s breath smells of onions and oddly, dog food, while this subject’s armpit brings to mind Limburger cheese.’ Can’t the product developers just smell the odors themselves?

So, moms out there, try to be supportive in the seemingly stupid things your children choose as career. Try to take comfort in the fact that it could always be worse. And if your child has chosen one of these listed professions, you can always pray that their path will change again before next Christmas.