The epitome of stupid sports stars has to be the controversial and totally misunderstood Mike Tyson. If ignorance is bliss then stupidity must be nirvana. In either case, this is a famous athlete who has had his share and then some of stupid sports moments. Maybe it is too many knocks in the head or maybe it is hereditary, but Mike Tyson is a verbal illiterate at best and a total deviant at worst. All it takes is to listen to his woman's voice and erratic topic changes in conversation and anyone would be at wits end.

In an interview after a bout, the sports star was asked quite literally if this was the shortest fight he had ever fought. To this Tyson responded with the very credible oath to Allah, a prayer to his brother/friend, and then an expletive that meant he really didn't know. He then said something about his friend again and then about beating his opponent and eating his children. This was a very descriptive, informative, and concise answer to an obviously complex question that proves Tyson’s direct train of thought.

It's amazing the command that this man has over the English language, which must make other famous athletes in the sport cringe. It’s almost as good as George W.’s mastering of the language. However, Mike Tyson uses more profanity and expletives than a lot of the major comedians of our era. This is most likely in part because he sounds like a girl when he speaks and he adds the vulgarity to help make himself sound more like a man. Another similar tactic is exemplified in the many times he has been quoted talking about fornicating with the women that interview him. He has even told them to be quiet because he usually fornicates with women before he converses with them. Usually, this is putting the cart before the horse in most social circles, but I guess you do what you have to do to prove your masculinity.

It also seems he’s confused about what qualifies as something he can consume. Mike Tyson is known for actually biting people as well as threatening to eat others. In the mid 1990's, Tyson was disqualified from a now infamous bout against Evander Holyfield for biting him on both ears, actually taking a chunk out of one. Tyson said that this was in retaliation for Holyfield head-butting him. Fortunately, they found the missing piece of Evander's ear in the ring following the fight. After a formal apology from Tyson, he was fined and his boxing license was revoked. However, a year later he was able to return to boxing. What a blessing this was for the sport!

After suffering all of this humiliation and monetary loss, Mike Tyson proved just how intelligent he really is by getting sentenced to a year in prison, two years probation, and 200 hours of community service for assaulting motorists after a traffic accident. Sometimes rage has no end and stupidity enhances its effects.

In 2003, the once great sports star finally filed bankruptcy after squandering an estimated $300 million. He said it was due to bad financial advice. I'm guessing that when a pimp tells you it's $200 an hour, you might want to get a second opinion. In 2005, Tyson said he would officially quit boxing because he didn't have "the fighting guts or the heart anymore". All of this after threatening to eat several opponents children. I wonder if Dahmer ever had the same empty feeling?

To sum up the stupidity issue, Mike Tyson has said that he wants to become a missionary because nothing good was going to come of him in this country, which has to be agreed with by his fellow famous athletes based on his past antics. He then bought and started to care for hundreds of pigeons. This of course is the work of a completely sane man. However, before he could serve Allah in a foreign land, he was arrested again on felony drug possession charges and a DUI after he almost wrecked into a police SUV. He was then admitted into a drug treatment facility. This action allowed him to side-step a year long jail sentence that he was facing for his crimes. Someone needs to tell Mike Tyson that history tends to repeat itself, more often than not for some people which means the stupidity is likely to strike again.